Ten Good Deeds
by MissAlyssaxxo
Summary: The Battle for Earth is over, Loki is returned to Asgard and punishment has been dealt to him by the allfather. Everything should be back to normal for the God of Mischief, but it is not. He cannot get thoughts of Midgard and the Avengers out of his head, and eventually he is forced to visit the planet he tried to conquer and the Avenger's themselves to clear his head.
1. Memories

Ten Good Deeds

Disclamer

I own nothing. Wish I did, but I don't. Life. Is. Not. Fair.

Summary

The Battle for Earth is over, Loki is returned to Asgard and a punishment has been dealt to him by the allfather. Everything should be back to normal for the God of Mischief, but it is _not_. He cannot get thoughts of Midgard and the Avengers out of his head, and eventually he is forced into visiting the planet he tried to conquer and Earth's Mightiest Hero's themselves in an attempt to clear his head.

Warnings – Pretty violent at times

Loki's eyes cracked open, only to be met by the insufferable glare of noonday sunlight streaming in from his window. The golden beams pierced his eyes and brought with them unwelcome thoughts of his brother, whose golden hair and personality could outshine the Asgardian sun at its brightes-

"_No, not brother" _Loki mentally corrected himself as he clenched his eyes closed against the light.

"_Not anymore."_

Reluctant to leave the peace and dark painlessness of his sleep, Loki waves a hand irritably at the window letting in the sunlight, his aim being to close the heavy green velvet drapes and cut off the offending light so he could return to _sleep. _A painful clenching in his stomach and an icy wave of pain throughout his body reminded Loki that his magic was still bound, by orders of the Allfather.

Grumbling now, Loki rises and gracefully crosses his chambers to pull the drapes shut himself. He uses, perhaps, a bit more force than he intended and the curtains rip free of the wall and clatter to the floor in a messy, wrinkled heap.

"Well that's just _perfect" _Loki hisses to himself, and throws the handfuls of green cloth clenched in his fists to the ground.

"Just perfect..." He sighs, normally, Loki would be able to fix the drapes himself with a wave of his hand, but this was not "normally" and nothing was _normal_ and nothing had been since his return to Asgard with Thor six months ago... today.

_"Is it today?" _Loki stops worrying about the ripped curtains and slowly reaches up to finger the long, slashing scars that cover the back of his neck. he traces one of the thickest to the neckline of his night robe and stops, knowing that the jagged scar descends almost all the way across his back, and is crossed by dozens like it, forming a messy, painful puzzle across his skin. The scars were a gift, a welcome home present from Odin, who had been less than happy to see his long lost "Son" return to Asgard. Loki can remember the day Thor accompanied him home, bound and muzzled and _silent_, to stand before the Allfather and the council of Asgard.

_ "You have been gone a long time." The Allfather's words are harsh and accusing, and with his muzzle the sharp responses Loki would throw back at him were forced to remain in his head, where he would be unable to use them to sway anyone in the room to his side._

_ "You have committed crimes against Asgard" The Allfather continues, and at his words the Aesir of the council sitting beside him begin to nod. Loki can feel their piercing eyes, tearing into him and ripping him apart from the inside, and he wants desperately to tear the muzzle from his mouth and convince them that they are WRONG but he cannot._

_ "You have committed crimes against the realm of Midgard" The Allfather looks towards Thor, who is standing tall beside Loki. The accursed thundering oaf nods, refusing to meet Loki's eyes. Forced into silence, inside his head Loki's thoughts are screaming "LIARS! I did not... the Chitauri, I could not... it wasn't me.. not my IDEA" _

_ He has trouble picking the truth from the lies in his own head as sudden memories of torture and Chitauri schemes are too much for him and he has to FOCUS and he can't, and the rough hands of two palace guards who had been waiting in the dark corners of the throne room are on his shoulders and Thor is leaving his side and he's struggling, still stuck on the frozen realm with the Chitauri, only the Chitauri and their weapons and their merciless eyes. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he is not alone with them and he can hear Odin's words but they do not make sense, because he is ALONE here and why won't anyone help him?_

"_One hundred lashes before the council. Five months in the dungeons of Asgard where the guards may do to you as they see fit, anything short of death. That, will be your punishment, God of Mischief." Thor has moved to Odin's right hand side now, and is staring at the floor as Loki is forced to his knees, pleading with his eyes for his brother to meet his gaze. Thor's eyes do not leave the floor. The guards strip Loki of his bonds, cloak, and shirt, baring his back to the awaiting audience and allowing him to brace himself with his palms against the floor, so he will not fall over when the whip strikes him. Finally, one of the guards removes his muzzle and he as time to choke out one word "S-Sorry" as the whip descends and his back is sliced open for the first time. He screams as the guard's hand raises the whip again, and Odin is talking and Thor will still not LOOK at him. _

"_Your scars from this day will never heal Loki, as a reminder not to cross Odin Allfather." Loki can barely think as the whip strikes him again and again, and he has lost count, and his back feels like it has been set ablaze and surely he will not make it to one hundred without losing consciousness? _

"_Your magic will be bound," the Allfather continues,"until I feel you are worthy of my complete forgiveness..." Loki's hands are slick from blood which he knows is his own and he is dizzy and feels sick, he lost count of the whip's strikes at 40 and now he is just waiting, waiting for the pain to end. His torn throat releases a whimper as a final, bone shuddering lash knocks him onto his stomach, where he lies on the cool marble in an expanding pool of his own blood.. He shivers and moans as the guards grasp him beneath his arms, preparing to bring him to the dungeons and who knows what they had in store for him there and as he is dragged away he can hear Odin calling after him._

"_After all that you have done Loki... remember that I still think of you as a son."_

Loki is dimly aware that he has been standing at the window for hours. He notices the bright sun that woke him is now threatening to disappear behind the tall trees on the horizon. He realizes his hands are clenched into tight fists and slowly relaxes them, feeling drops of blood flow between his fingers from the cuts his nails had bitten into his palms. It had been six months since that day in the throne room, and one month since his release from constant torture in the dungeons of Asgard. And still no one would _listen _to him. Aside from visiting to bring food to his cell once a week Thor had done nothing to stop Odin's punishment, and had not even looked him in the eyes since before leaving Midgard. Walking through the halls of the palace Loki felt invisible and he was _sick _of it. Tonight, he thinks to himself, he will leave these chambers for the first time since his punishment and he will be _noticed, _if he has to corner a maid and threaten to destroy her entire family to get her to aknowledge him.

"_Besides" _Loki reasons with himself, _" I'll need to find someone to fix these blasted curtains." _He thinks it will be fun to find out just how intimidating his words still are to the staff of the palace, and who can be frightened into entering the chambers of Loki, God of Lies.

Woohoo Chapter One! Hope you like it, I'm sort of new to this fandom so please, if I made any egregious errors in Asgardian culture don't hesitate to comment and tell me, and I'll try my best to fix it. If you can't tell, Loki is just a bit nuts at this point hahah, it's sort of hard to get the crazy across in words. Also, Odin is an asshole. That is all.


	2. Guilt

Ten Good Deeds

Disclamer

I own nothing. Wish I did, but I don't. Life isn't fair.

Summary

The Battle for Earth is over, Loki is returned to Asgard and a punishment has been dealt to him by the Allfather. Everything should be back to normal for the God of Mischief, but it is _not_. He cannot get thoughts of Midgard and the Avengers out of his head, and eventually he is forced into visiting the planet he tried to conquer and Earth's Mightiest Hero's themselves in an attempt to clear his head.

Warnings– Pretty violent at times

As Loki walks through the halls of the Palace, he feels utterly alone. He'd made his way to the kitchens, grabbed a roll and an apple, and was slowly winding his way to the courtyard. Although he was trying his best to stay silent and listen for footsteps, he had not encountered a single living soul during his journey through the castle. Biting into the roll, Loki wonders bitterly if it is the work of the Allfather's magic that is keeping him separate from everyone.

Loki straightens up and lifts his chin, refusing to be rattled by the silence of the palace. After all, this was not the first time he had felt alone. He'd been alone after his fall from the rainbow bridge, he'd been alone when the Chitauri had found him, starving and half dead in their realm. And he'd been alone in the cells of Asgard for the past five months, aside from the guards who brought him nothing but pain, and Thor, who came only once a week and refused to even meet his gaze. No, Loki would not be afraid of the silence. He was Loki, God of Lies and Mischief, not some broken lonely fool. He tears into the roll again, searching for something, _anything_ to occupy his mind and keep it away from his dangerously wandering thoughts.

Finding nothing to distract his mind within the empty hallway, Loki can feel his breath begin to speed up. His harsh gasps turn into pants that get caught in his chest. The stone walls of the palace shift into the jagged concrete of his cell. He claws at his throat, feeling like his lungs are being crushed. He can't get enough air, and he's back in the dungeons, the guards are piling stones on his bare chest, heavier and heavier and he can't _breathe._

"Brother?"

Loki is jolted out of his memories by a familiar voice. He looks down and realizes that somehow he has ended up sprawled on the cold stone floor. Thor is by his side, lifting him up and helping him place his back against the wall, and he _knew_ he recognized that voice, though it had been so long since he'd heard it.

"Brother, what's wrong, who did this to you?" Loki's mind began to clear and he was able to answer between gasping breaths.

"N- not your brother... don't touch me... I'm _fine!_" Thor recoiled as though he'd been burned, removing his hands from Loki. He stares fixedly at the floor as his brother straightens up, crosses his arms, and dons a mask of pride and haughtiness to cover the trembling wreck of emotion he'd been a few seconds before.

"I'm fine, no one has done a thing to harm me. Actually Thor, you are the first person to approach me in weeks."

"Well than what has happened to you?"

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Perhaps you should tell me Loki, mayb-"

"Why the sudden interest in my well being Thor? Where does this come from, after months of leaving me to suffer alone and silent, months I have spent in _agony _with no escape?"

"I tried Loki. The Allfather refused to discuss your punishment. I brought you food -"

"Oh yes, one meal a week, a brief reprieve from hours of torture. You know the guards ripped out my fingernails one by one with hot pliers before you came with the food once? So I would be unable to use utensils. I had to eat using only my mouth... like a dog. Of course it was only for the purpose of humiliation."

"Loki, stop."

Thor is visibly flinching at his words and Loki smirks. He enjoys the affect that his voice has, now that he is free to speak as he wishes and someone is here to _listen._

"You do not wish to hear this? Oh but Thor, I could go on for weeks! The guards certainly had no trouble doing the same. Maybe I could tell you about the time I was hung from -"

"Loki, STOP!" Thor is yelling now and pushes Loki into the wall, holding him fast.

"I don't understand Thor, you don't want to speak to me?"

"No, not about that. What happened in those cells, was not right Loki."

"You know, then, that I was not entirely responsible for what happened on Midgard?"

"I guessed as much. Was it the Chitauri?" Loki nods.

"They were the masterminds behind the invasion. True, I played a part, but Thor..."

"The Chitauri are not known for their kindness."

"And they should not be." Loki agrees, a veil descending over his eyes "Kindness would not be on my list of character traits the Chitauri possess. Brutality however-"

"It should not have been torture." Loki's breathe hitches in his throat as Thor finally,

_finally_ raises his eyes to meet his own. " Even after everything you did, I do not believe that the Allfather should have tortured you as punishment." Thor's piercing blue eyes hold security and comfort for Loki and he can't look away. He would never admit it, but he couldn't measure the relief he felt at seeing Thor's eyes again. Had he _missed_ them?

"Is that why you would not look at me Thor? Because you did not want to see what was

happening?" Thor nods and slowly his grip on Loki's shoulders loosens, but he does not remove his hands.

"It's just, I could not help you Loki. There was nothing I could do to _help_ you. It's not often that I feel helpless, and I didn't want to watch you get hurt. I was selfish and I want you to know that I am sorry, and I regret it."

Loki sneers and stands up, brushing Thor's hands from his shoulders.

"Then it seems we both have regrets. I had time to think Thor, in my cell.

Not much time, but enough. I decided that I want to go back to Midgard."

"WHAT? Loki, but... why?"

"I'm not sure why, but I feel the need to clear my...my...oh how do the Midgardians say it? Cons-cience." The word sounds strange in Loki's mouth to Thor, like he has never used it or had a need for such an idea before. Thor cannot help himself, he begins to laugh out loud,

"You.. _you_! Of all people, want to clear your-"

"DON'T mock me Thor." Loki looks livid, standing at his full height beside the still kneeling Thor. He turns, robes swirling behind him as he stalks down the hallway.

"Yes, yes I'm sorry brother but the idea of you, God of Mischief and Lies, with a _conscience?_" Thor's booming laugh fills the hallway again as he stands up and hurries to catch his brother. "Where are we headed?"

"_I _was going to the courtyard." Loki stoops down and scoops the apple he'd been holding before Thor had found him from the floor. He holds it out to Thor, who grabs it. "Laugh all you want brother, but _you _are not the one who spent five months being tortured by his own people. If you had, you might discover a conscience yourself."

Thor's laugh is cut off immediately. "Brother?" he looks thoughtfully at the apple, and takes a bite.

Loki turns sharply, robes swirling and as his nostrils flare "_What?_"

"You called me brother." Thor speaks through a mouthful of the sweet fruit.

Loki's eyes flash dangerously "Must have been a slip of the tongue."

Thor nods and changes the subject, though he knows that the words of Loki Silvertongue do not so slip so easily.

"So what makes you so sure of this sudden troubled conscience Loki?"

Loki stares at his hand, flexing his long, thin fingers into a fist. "I can no longer distract myself."

Thor remains silent, unsure of what the words mean.

"Ever since our return from Midgard, I cannot get my head out of the realm. Reminders are everywhere. My dinner plates turn into the Captains shield when I least expect it, black spiders bring on a fit of memories, even the red color of that apple brings on thoughts of the Man of Iron. I think of the screaming faces, the ruined families,the destroyed buildings. I cannot stop _thinking_."

Thor nods, finally understanding, "You are feeling guilty."

"Guil-ty... yes, I believe that's the word for it. I have to admit that I am not fond of the feeling. I want to rid myself of it."

Thor's next words are careful.

"So, you wish to return to Midgard, to find some way to relieve your guilt? _Only_ to relieve your guilt?"

"If it is possible."

"How do I know that everything you've said to me is not a lie. How can I trust you Loki?"

Loki smirks, "You cannot. But Thor... think back on everything I've said. Everything that has happened in the past few months and know that I am being honest. I implore you to consider my request. I can't live like this for much longer."

Thor stares into his brothers eyes, where the green irises are a mix of swirling emotions. Thor can see pain, regret, fear, longing, guilt and beneath them he is sure that he sees _honesty. _He hopes he isn't making a mistake as he sighs and chooses his next words.

"Loki, I trust you. I will ask the Allfather if I can accompany you back to Midgard."

Wohoo chapter two! Is Thor making a big mistake? Is Loki lying through his teeth? Is he being honest? What will the Allfather say? Tune in for Chapter Three :D (All said in a campy 1960's Batman narrator's voice.) Also, Loki is more PTSD than batshit crazy here, he's been through a lotta shit.


End file.
